Last weekend, Brett and I watched "This is Where I Leave You". Best movie we've seen in quite some time...(in fact, we liked it so much that we watched it twice back-to-back!) But let's face it, can you really go wrong when you mix Jason Bateman, Tina Fay, Dax Shepherd, and Jane Fonda?
While there are too many hilarious scenes to mention, one in particular stuck with me all week. Somewhere in the middle of the film, an altercation between Tina Fey (appropriately playing a late 30's, early 40's mom of two) and Dax Shepard (playing a real d-bag) breaks out in the waiting room of a hospital. By altercation, I mean Tina decks Dax in the face after he figuratively "slaps" her with a comment that shook me to my core. What did he say to her exactly? To paraphrase...
"Well - look at you. At your age...rocking the center part."
Harsh. And for me, eyeopening. It may sound silly that a simple line in a movie caused me to question my own style choices (and life choices for that matter) - but it sincerely did. I started to ask myself, "Am I too old for that?"
It didn't take long before I formulated a short list of things that I might be too old to pull off. Mamas - I would love your input on my list below.
1. HAIR
Let's start with the topic that started my quest.
The mom cut. We've all seen it happen. Baby arrives. Hair starts to fall out by the handful. Hair gets chopped. Please don't misunderstand - short cuts can be hot! I am merely referring to the "do" that sometimes comes with motherhood. I cut off almost 10 inches after Olive was born. Though, I didn't really have a choice. Straggly, split-ends don't flatter anyone.
As my body started to replenish its nutrients, and my hair began to grow back - I decided to let it. I turn 35 this year, and now I am beginning to question - how long is too long? Can I rock the middle part myself (like Tina) or should this be reserved for celebrity moms in their late 30's and 40's? Do different rules apply to common moms?
Am I too old for this?
2. SELFIES
I recently searched the hashtag "selfie" on Instagram. Not surprising, the majority of the images were of 16-22-year olds. 23 tops. So what I am doing in the world of the selfie? I would like to think it's to show how to bring BURU to the everyday life of a mid-30's something, small town mom. Does this make me exempt from the selfie age limit?
Am I too old for this?
3. STOMACH
I know for a fact that my mother has not worn a bikini in public since September of 1980 (my birth month and year). Not because she couldn't pull it off, but because that it what was expected of her. While I believe there has been a shift of acceptance in the world of moms + bikinis - thanks to gorgeous, yet somewhat more attainable celeb physiques like Reese Witherspoon and Drew Barrymore, I wonder if this acceptance translates to the crop-top trend. I have allowed myself to show my mid-drift on multiple occasions post Olive. From black tie charity event to close friends' rehearsal dinners to summertime bbq's with family...I have "bared" all to all (btw my "all" is 3" max). Let's just assume that it was okay from ages 32-34. What happens at 35?
Am I too old for this?
4. LEGS
How much leg is too much leg? I'll be honest - I love short shorts, mini skirts, and mini dresses. And while I mostly pair tights with the skirts and dresses, there is the occasional bare leg if I prefer the look sans hosiery. When am I "supposed" to cover my walking sticks above the knee for good? And further more, what to do when the length is below the knee, but it's colder than a witch's titty, and I still prefer the look of a bare leg. Is this reserved for early 20 somethings living in Manhattan, hailing cabs in 20 degree weather with their gorgeous hair blowing in the wind en route to the newest hotspot?
Am I too old for this?
5. FOOD
I am not ashamed to admit that once (or three times) a month my breakfast consists of 3 triangles of Toblerone and a diet coke (well...now a latte as I gave up DC about 3 weeks ago). In my twenties, this was more of an everyday thing, but now I am beginning to realize that my body just can't operate on the same level of non-nutritional breakfast choices. But is three (or four) times still too many?
Am I too old for this?
While I am anxiously awaiting your thoughts. (I assure you they are valued, enjoyed, and appreciated!) I have decided that the answer at this point in life is NO! I am not too old. Rules are important, but sometimes they're overrated. If long hair, a selfie to promote my business, 2-3" of tasteful stomach, bare leg a bit above the knee, or a touch of Toberlone for breakfast every now and then is wrong past 35, then I don't want to be right. (Or maybe I don't want to be 35!) If it makes me feel good about myself, then I am going to go for it. The day that any of this list, causes me insecurity or sadness - it's gone, but until then, I am going to rock them all... just like Tina.
And if anything on this list makes you feel good about yourself, then I say, "Own it mama!". My only advice is that if and when doubt starts to creep in, it might be time to ask your most honest friend if the ship has sailed. We all need a dose of reality every now and then.
As cheesy as it may sound, I believe this to be true -
"Aging is a matter of mind. If you don't mind it, it doesn't matter." anonymous