Perhaps the timing on this post seems inappropriate with Father's Day just around the corner, but I couldn't help myself. I somehow feel called to address the issue of a mother dressing for one's husband or baby daddy. For me personally, the desire to impress Brett with my appearance is a strong one. I think wanting your man to want you physically is a great (and necessary) thing. That said, I do not believe that it means you have to wear exactly what they consider fashionable on a daily basis. Let's get real - a bandage dress is not exactly Whole Foods appropriate and you are most likely not going to make new friends at the playground serving up a giant dose of boob salad.
During our cross country trip of BURU-to-You shows, the most common thing I heard from our BURU mamas (aside from "Where will I wear that?" - a subject I will address very soon) was, "I don't think my husband will like it". Specifically speaking, this comment often centered around culottes, tent style dresses, midi skirts, utilitarian jumpsuits, and basically any silhouette that doesn't graze the body. I understand that these particular styles can confuse a man who spends little or no time reviewing the latest shapes of fashion, but what gives them the right to judge when they are clearly not doing the due diligence. I mean would we, as women, ever contemplate offering up a review of the clubs in their golf bags or the style of golf shoes they wear? I don't think so. (Unless of course you are Annika Sorenstam).
Several years ago when Leandra Medine launched her infamous website, Man Repeller, she began to highlight the side of fashion that "repels men". She loves clogs. So she wears them. She loves harem pants and boyfriend jeans. So she wears them. And you know what, she still managed to snag a husband. You know how (in my humble opinion of course)? She was herself and in being herself she exuded confidence. Nothing sexier than that, mamas.
So here is how I apply baby daddy repelling silhouettes in my personal style:
1. On date night, I give full thought to what Brett wants to see. Aka - body. This is when I pull out my LBDs, my pencil skirts, and my slinky tops.
2. Every other occasion, I put me first. Might sound harsh, but if I feel good about my outfit, then it is 100% reflected in my mood and my confidence, and I guarantee that Brett is more turned on by that than the initial "wow moment" of a skimpy dress revealing a little too much.
And let's be real, dressing for yourself means dressing to be your best self. I am not promoting dumpiness here. I am promoting self expression through your personal style. You have to discover and learn how to make your favorite silhouettes work for your body. If you are all about the tent dress, be sure to show some skin somewhere - ankles, legs, arms, or maybe even a strategically placed cut-out to give a little sneaky peek. If you love culottes, maybe pair with a top that showcases your waist and hem to a length flattering for your height. And, if you can't live without a mechanic style jumpsuit, then be sure to roll up the sleeves and pop an extra button down when your man is around. The look certainly worked for Jennifer Beals in Flash Dance!
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